


And I told you to be fine.

by hidinginmyroom



Series: Sometims we do all the things we shouldn't [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-27
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 16:29:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidinginmyroom/pseuds/hidinginmyroom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis no longer wants to be with Harry, and Harry get stuck with the fallout and he needs Nick to get better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I told you to be fine.

He was no longer the broken boy that couldn’t for all in the world put a smile on his face. That was not who he was anymore, because he couldn’t be that boy, there was no time to be that boy. Nobody had the time for him to be broken, and so they told him. There wasn’t time for him to feel down and to sit alone in his room and cry. It was just no time, he had to be fine, and they told him that too. When he said that he couldn’t, they had told him to fake it. He needed to be fine, or at least they needed him to fake it. They didn’t really care that much.

The broken boy was still there, behind all the layers of fake smiles, laughers and words. None of it was real, none of it was him. He wanted out, and he wanted to be alone, to not have to see Louis all the time. He wanted Louis to care, he want Louis to not be fine with it. Also he wanted Louis to stop being afraid, he wanted Louis to stand up for what he believed and to show Harry that what they had before actually mattered. That Harry actually mattered. 

He wouldn’t believe that it hadn’t been real, that it had all been a joke on him. That he had been the only one that had been in love, and that Louis had just been pretending. It was too real for him to have been faking. It had to be, or else Harry would break even more, if that were even possible. 

They all pretended not to see when Harry kept breaking down in front of them. All the boys would leave or just let him sit there alone and cry. Louis would laugh and tell him he was just a big baby. They would joke about it and say he was stupid for believing, for actually believing that Louis had loved him. For them it was all a joke, he was a joke. Just something for them to make fun of. 

He tried to stop caring, he didn’t want to care about them. He had loved all of them, they had been his family. They had meant the world to him, and he thought that they had felt the same. As stupid as that was now, he still believed it sometimes. They had all been alone and when they were put together he believed that he found somewhere he would fit in. Somewhere where people would accept him for him.

How wrong had he been? It was stupid to still care, he knew that. Harry didn’t want to, he just couldn’t stop. They had been his best friends for two years. His only best friends ever. Nobody else had ever wanted to be around him more than a few days before. Nobody had ever been his friend for so long before. He didn’t understand what had happened. Or well he did. He just didn’t understand why that was such a big deal, why they could still be friends. Harry didn’t understand why they all hated him now. And why they didn’t hate Louis. Maybe because Louis had been the one to call it of, to say that it was wrong and that they could never do it again.

Louis had told Harry that it was wrong of them and that it was disturbing and disgusting and that he regretted it with all his heart. All the things that had come out of Louis mouth had broken Harry down, piece by piece. First he had thought that Louis was only afraid of being gay and didn’t mean what he was saying. Harry thought that Louis would come to his senses and see that what they had was true love. After all, they had been sort of together for months. Louis had even told him that he loved him. Louis said that he loved Harry, more than one time. And Harry said it back, because Harry really did love Louis. 

It all came crashing down so suddenly, and he knew why now. It was all because of her. She had done it, and she was the reason that he was broken. She was the reason Louis didn’t love him anymore. She and her stupid ideas of what love could and couldn’t be. Who said that what she said was the right, that love could only be what she said it was. Louis had hated her in the beginning, he had told Harry how stupid she was and how she could never shut the fuck up. He had told Harry that everything she said was bullshit. She was never something Harry worried about. She was always some stupid girl that wasn’t important. Until she was.

It had all be a big shock for Harry, how his boyfriend suddenly wasn’t in love with him anymore. How his boyfriend suddenly got an actual girlfriend. They had been fine, they had been great. One day Louis had just told him that it was over and how it hadn’t ever been real. He told Harry that Eleanor was the one for him, and how he always knew that he should be with a girl, had how Harry had poisoned him. It was then all the awful words came, and they just kept coming until there was noting left of Harry. He was just broken and all the pieces were lost. 

All the other boys that taken Louis side right away, because they all loved Louis the most. He was the funny and friendly one, and Harry was the awkward and shy one, that never really talked that much. So when Louis started to be mean, they all started. All of them told Harry to stop being a baby and to grow some balls. They all told him that being gay was wrong and that if they could deicide they would make Harry leave the band. Every chance they got, they would do whatever they could to bring him down and make him feel like shit.

Harry had no one. He was all alone and he had no idea of who he could talk to or who would accept him. But then Nick happened, and he slowly made Harry realise that it was fine for him to be gay. Nick was the best thing that could happen to him. He took the broken boy Harry had become and tried to put the pieces back together. It was something that took loads of work, and Nick took it as a victory every time he could make Harry smile for real or laugh. He told Harry that it was okay, and that the other boys were wrong and that what they said was bullshit. 

Nick told Harry how Louis himself was afraid of being gay and therefore let it go out over Harry. He told him that Louis wasn’t what Harry needed and that he never would. Louis would never love Harry the way Harry needed him to, and Louis would never be good enough for Harry. All the time he spent with Nick made Harry remember how it was to be happy, he was no longer broken, or not as broken as he had been. He even started to catch himself smiling for himself when he was alone. It was still a long way for Harry to go before he was happy, but he was getting there. With the help of Nick.

No matter how happy Nick made Harry, he also made Harry sad. Because finally getting over Louis and everything he had done. Harry realised that he was falling for Nick. He didn’t want that, because Nick had told him that they were only friends. Harry was only a child, and Nick was too old for him. Harry wanted him so bad, but he knew that it would never happen, and being afraid of a repeat of what happened with Louis, Harry kept his mouth shut. 

Months went by and Harry distanced himself more and more form the band. Now he only saw them when he had to. And seeing how they had time of now, he hadn’t seen any of them in two months. Nick however he saw almost every day, and he was now deeply in love with the older guy. Nick didn’t know, or Harry thought he didn’t. Because harry didn’t show that he loved him, or at least he tried not to. It would be really awful if he knew. Harry couldn’t stand loosing Nick, then he would be all alone.

On Harrys twentieth birthday he was woken up by someone ringing on his doorbell in the early morning, Harry had stumbled out of bed and opened the door before even realising that he was only in his underwear. The person standing on the outside had been Nick with a big present in his hands and a big smile on is face. Taking in Harry with his eyes and smiling even wider when noticing Harry’s lack of clothes. 

“Happy birthday” was all Nick had said before walking inside and giving Harry his present. He had just been standing there waiting for Harry to open it, and he had almost looked nervous. For being so big, the present was surprisingly light, and when Harry opened it, he got the biggest shock of his life. Inside it was only a letter and the words written was something Harry would never forget. I love you. It was so simple and beautiful and Harry had never felt so happy. He had looked up at Nick and before he knew it they were kissing and telling each other who much they loved each other.


End file.
